I’m often asked, “What should I expect from a first counseling or therapy session?” It’s completely normal to feel a little nervous or anxious about your first session with a counselor or therapist. I remember the first time I sought therapy. I was worried my therapist would judge me or tell me that I was crazy. I can assure you, therapists are kind, compassionate human beings who genuinely want to help. We are not here to judge. The first therapy session is really just an opportunity to get to know your therapist and see if you’re a good fit.
Research shows that the people who do best in therapy and report the most progress tend to like their therapist. That’s the biggest predictor of success. So, it’s important that you feel comfortable talking with your therapist, feel understood, and can envision yourself continuing to share more with them. You should feel free to ask your therapist any questions you have about their background, areas of expertise, or whether they’ve worked with situations similar to yours. It’s your right to make sure this person is the right fit for you.
Your therapist will likely have some paperwork for you to complete, either at the beginning or end of the session. This usually includes an informed consent document, where confidentiality and details about your insurance and out-of-pocket expenses will be explained. They’ll also ask you what brought you to therapy, and this is your chance to share whatever you’re comfortable with about your current situation and what you’re interested in working on. You don’t have to reveal anything you’re not ready to share during that first session. Building trust with your therapist is key before diving into deeply personal issues.
In addition to discussing your main concerns, your therapist will likely ask about your overall health and wellness, including your sleep, nutrition, exercise, and any other healthcare providers you might be seeing. They will ask about any symptoms of depression or anxiety you’re experiencing, and given the impact of the pandemic, you’re certainly not alone—65% of people are reporting anxiety symptoms. This is a safe space, so be open and honest without fear of judgment.
Your therapist may also inquire about your substance use, your family history, and your relationships to better understand your support system and past experiences. This helps provide context for how you’ve been shaped by your life experiences and whether you’re unconsciously recreating familiar patterns.
Therapy can benefit all of us, whether or not we’re in crisis. Mental wellness tune-ups are helpful, especially during major life changes or stressful periods. If you’re considering therapy, try to attend weekly sessions for at least 12 weeks. Research shows that most presenting issues are resolved within that time frame, and many people choose to continue beyond that once they see the benefits.
Therapy is a bit like cleaning out a messy closet. Initially, pulling everything out can feel overwhelming, but as you work through things, you’ll start to feel better. It’s normal to sometimes feel worse before things improve as you begin to process old emotions and experiences.
Therapy typically has three phases: the first is information gathering, where your therapist gets to know you; the second is working together to identify what’s working and what needs adjustment in your life; and the final phase is when you’re feeling great and decide with your therapist to meet less frequently or eventually conclude the sessions.
I truly wish you well in your therapy journey. I think therapy can help all of us, especially in times like these during the pandemic. Best wishes, and thank you.
