It is time for “Don’t Have a Meltdown Monday.” We are trying to pour into you, and it’s never too late, even though it’s already 10:16. We’re bringing in some reinforcements today in the form of Joyce Marter, a psychotherapist and author of The Financial Mindset Fix: A Mental Fitness Program for an Abundant Life. That title is fantastic! We’re so glad to have you with us, Joyce. Let’s start by discussing the idea that there is a connection between your self-worth and your net worth.
Yes, absolutely. I’ve been practicing as a psychotherapist for over 25 years, and I noticed that as my clients made progress in therapy, they started earning more money. I thought, “Why is this happening?” We were working on issues like depression, anxiety, and relationships. It turned out that their self-esteem was improving, so they were putting themselves out into the world with more confidence, assertiveness, and better boundaries. They were negotiating more effectively. There’s a huge connection between how we feel about ourselves and our financial prosperity.
That’s really interesting. You’ve been doing this for 25 years, so you’ve probably seen a wide range of individual case studies. Can you walk us through the steps someone might take if they’ve experienced financial trauma, such as a bankruptcy or a divorce that impacted their finances? How do they recover from that?
First, it’s important to honor your financial trauma and recognize that your feelings are a normal response to what you’ve been through. Some of us have experienced financial traumas in our families of origin that have shaped how we think about money and our financial psychology. We need to be conscious of how our past experiences have influenced our money story.
That’s an interesting point. For example, people who grew up during the Great Depression, or children whose parents always said, “We can’t afford it,” might carry that mindset into adulthood, even when they are in a more stable financial situation. Is that something that can manifest subconsciously?
Exactly. Cognitive behavioral therapy tells us that our thoughts precede our emotions and behaviors. So, if we’ve been programmed with messages that financial prosperity is not possible, part of us believes that. It’s crucial to empower people to know they can create change in their financial lives by taking responsibility and working through a program, like the one I offer in my book.
What would a first step look like for someone wanting to make that change? Is it about writing something down every morning, repeating mantras, or something more in-depth?
I believe it’s essential to become aware of your psychology of money. I notice in my practice that people often set their own ceilings with self-limiting beliefs. For example, they might say, “I could never start my own business,” or, “I’ll never get that promotion.” That’s a scarcity mindset.
So, how do they change that mindset?
They need to shift their thinking toward a more abundant mindset. This means opening themselves up to possibilities, expanding their beliefs about what’s available to them, and using skills from psychology, such as creativity and openness, to move from negative thinking to positive thinking.
What does that look like in a practical sense? Is there a tangible step someone can take?
Yes, thought records are a great tool. They’re a cognitive behavioral therapy technique, and there are CBT workbooks available online. I include CBT exercises in my books as well. Reflecting on your money story, your history, and your relationship with money is key. Become aware of any self-sabotaging behaviors. We’re all human, and we’re not perfect, so we have to learn how to take better care of ourselves.
It’s also crucial to access support. Whether it’s working with a debt consolidation counselor, a therapist, or a financial planner, having accountability is vital. I aim to remove the shame and stigma surrounding both mental health and financial health issues, to inspire and equip people with the tools they need to live an abundant life.
Joyce Marter, psychotherapist and author of The Financial Mindset Fix: A Mental Fitness Program for an Abundant Life, thank you so much for your time today. Great advice! You can pre-order her book on Amazon.
