“Many people come into therapy wanting the perfect job, relationship, body or lifestyle that they believe will bring them happiness. This is a normal response to living in a consumer-based culture that tells us we need these things. However, when we look to externals to measure our worth, enough is never enough. This is because factors such as money, appearance or accomplishments are all aspects of ego, and our egos are insatiable.
Identifying with your ego is a slippery slope that leads to the “quick sand” of misery. The harder you work to pull yourself out of despair, the more exhausted and depleted you become, and the more unhappy you feel.
In my practice, I also see that people often mistakenly identify with their issues (e.g., ‘I AM depressed,’ ‘I AM divorced,’ ‘I AM a codependent caretaker,’ etc.) As human beings, we all have issues. However, our issues are HOW we are, not WHO we are. WHO we are is the unique spirit of light, love and joy that lies deep within — our ‘essence’.
Therefore, we must consciously choose to detach from ego and the externals and instead focus our attention on these deeper aspects of character more accurately measure our greatness”